Helpful Resources for Cancer Fighters

Everyone who cares will want to know how treatments are going. Although I was so humbled and glad to hear everyone caring about my well being, it became overwhleming to relay the same message multiple times. I was living and talking cancer all day.  I became tired and irritated re-telling my doctor appointments and treatment plan.  My husband quickly took charge of becoming my PR person of creating a private group chat on social media to keep our family, friends, neighbors and co-workers upraised of any new developments, doctor visits, my side effects and what we needed as a family.  It all worked out so well, it was less stressful and one less thing to worry about.  Everyone was so understanding that I didn’t always feel like talking and needed some quiet time. The time and the people I wanted to talk to where up to me. If you are a partner or someone who is closely involved in day to day with the person who has cancer, you are that perfect candidate to help with the communication. If you feel this is still a big undertaking for someone, you can also use CaringBridge.org site to stay connected with your family and friends  sharing your health journey.  

I am so blessed to have the most loving and patient husband.  Despite his phobia for blood and doctors, he drove me to every appointment, attended every treatment, listened to healthcare professionals and had very smart follow up questions to ask.  He took notes for me and helped me to remember the doctor conversations afterwards. He helped research and stayed on top of my treatment plan and medication. He is my angel here on earth. Every cancer patient needs that one person who they feel comfortable with to accompany them to the doctor appointments.  There are so many things you have to remember and understand which at first can be very confusing.  You also don’t want to be a passive patient who does what the doctor tells them to do.  Keep in mind, that our bodies are different, doctors are also human and they get sick too.  It is extremely important to understand and be part of your treatment decisions, and that person by your side can help you with that. 

I didn’t know that many people at the time who had been through BC but hearing first hand what to expect eased my fears. If you know someone who dealt with cancer before even if it is a friend of your friend’s, reach out and arrange an introduction.  This is what one of my friend’s did for me. My friend arranged a meeting at her house being that middle person. Hearing someone else’s experience who actually was going through exact same journey, gave me more courage and comfort that I can endure it too.  I was so fortunate to have a couple of wonderful ladies that helped me navigate through the confusion and told me how to cope with the realities of BC.

I’m so grateful for the people I have in my life, even total strangers who I met during my cancer journey, especially for their generosity.  Everyone offered their help, asked me what they can do and how they can help.  I honestly didn’t know how to answer, didn’t know what I even needed at the time, and I also felt guilty admitting I needed something.  I was more concerned about my kids that they were fed, someone was watching them or picking them up from daycare when I was at the cancer clinic, etc. It was so nice when my friends and family took turns to bring us homemade dinner several times a week. With the conveniences of home delivery, this part just takes some coordination but it is greatly appreciated. My friends also came to clean my house before we hired a cleaning lady but cleaning services is something that can be so practical for a family. Anyone who has kids, helping them babysit, taking them to a park or their after school activities help parents have a quiet moment and for kids keep the same routine. Not to mention, I was worried about my husband doing everything including my care. Last but not least, I appreciated the walks with my friends.  I knew that excericising is very important to help me fight fatigue but often, I didn’t feel motivated going on walks on my own, so I didn’t have an excuse when my friends wanted to walk around the neighborhood with me or take me to a local park. Chatting, laughing, catching up on life, taking my mind of my aches and fears, and enjoying the nature always made me feel great afterwards. 

The doctors use many acronyms and medical terminology when discussing my illness.  Understanding the terminology and knowing what important questions to ask, gave me the feeling of control and empowerment to influence my treatment plan decisions instead of being a passive patient. My husband and my brother were very involved in my care from the get go.  We researched and learned everything together.  Their understanding of the disease and what to expect, helped us be more prepared as a family, plan ahead, ask doctors the right questions or find answers to the questions we had along the way.  Knowing that both close men in my life understood the disease, allowed me to leave them in charge when I was too tired to think.

Here are a few of my favorite things I received as gifts that were very applicable during my cancer journey:

• Headware (hats, scarfs, wigs).
• Etsy gift care – cotton hats I bought on Etsy were one of my favorites.
• Water bottle – it is very important to drink lots of water during chemo.  Adding fresh ginger or fruit helped fight nausea.
• Blanket and socks – I was always so cold during the chemo treatments.
• Mastectomy/surgery pillow – the only thing that helped me sleep better or wear a seatbelt in the car after my surgery.
• Big bag to carry blanket and water bottle when going to treatments.
• Magazine, books, Audible, Barnes&Noble gift card, activity book, coloring book – chemo treatment can take several hours and doing an activity helps to pass the time by.
• Ginger candy, lemon tea, cough drops helped me fight nausea
• Skin care products such as hydrating lotion, lip balm, sunscreen and facial masks.  Try to find something organic.  My favorites are coconut, shea butter or lavendar lotions from Whole Foods.  Chemo and endoctrine therapy made my skin very dry.
• Notebook or journal, personal stationery.  I kept notes from my appointments, notes from researching the disease, my symptoms, and my cancer journey. It helped to keep everything in one place and remember the questions I wanted to ask my care team. I received flowers, gift cards, food, so acknowledging my appreciation and writing a “thank you” card was a must.

Cancer journey can be a long one.  Having to go through chemo, hair loss and re-growth, radiation, multiple surgeries, therapies, etc. is a long process.  Celebrating each milestone along the way commemorates how far you’ve come, how much you had to endure, that you fought, perservered and survived.  Celebrating with your favorite ice cream or dessert, having a small group of friends for a cookout if you feel well enough for it, can energize you, excite you about the future that this horrible disease is coming to an end, that you will be healthy again.  My husband and I continued to go on dinner dates.  It was important for me to dress up, put make up on and still feel attractive despite my hair and weight loss. My friends and family surprised me with balloons and flowers at my last radiation treatment and watched me get emotional while I rang the bell to mark the end of my radiation. We planned local camping trips and vacation to the beach around each phase of my cancer journey to celebrate these stepping stones in the fight against cancer.